In Mourning...

I have started my day of mourning. I have these at least 3 times a year...the beginning of August, late March, and early January. I'm wearing mostly black to be true to the feelings I have. I am feeling down in the dumps, blue, grouchy.

I start out my day of mourning being in denial. Not long after I enter the anger phase...and this lasts most of the day. Finally, by the time I set the alarm and pull back the covers, I enter resignation. I realize there is nothing I can do to change the situation.

What am I mourning, you may ask? I am mourning the end of my vacation. :) I am pathetic about not wanting school to start back again. I so enjoy being at home, calling my own shots each and every day. I can be lazy, refuse to put on make-up, let my hair be au-natural. Not come tomorrow. Tomorrow I am back to the grind...whether I want to be or not.

Don't get me wrong...I don't dislike my job. I actually like what I do, and I enjoy the people I work with. It's just not nearly as enjoyable as being at home spending time with Jase and Madeline...nothing beats that.

I'll be fine in the morning, I know I will. It will be a struggle to get out of bed...of that I am sure! But, I'll make it. I'll have a fine day catching up with the teachers, leading a few sessions of our inservice, sharing a few laughs. Things will be fine on the outside...but on the inside, I'll be working through my grief...in what stage, I don't yet know. I'll be bright and cheery to others, but inside, I'll still be wearing black. :)

5 Things for Which I'm Thankful Right Now (in no particular order)...

1. Vacation Days
2. Having a job
3. My family and friends
4. Working in a job that I enjoy
5. The fact that no matter how much you are grieving, at some point, it comes to an end. :)

Nichols...OUT!