So, I just had my last OB appointment before my sweet girl, Riley, joins our family. My doctor actually listened to me today. He wanted to have me come in Tuesday night to start my induction, but he let me schedule it for Sunday night instead. YAY!!
I called my hubby as I left the appointment, and I could tell it freaked him out a bit. If I'm being honest, it freaks me out a little too. We've known that Riley would be here soon, but now the soon is literally just around the corner!!
I am concerned for the whole labor thing. I know my girl is going to be large, and large and labor are two words that don't bring a smile to my face. My doctor doesn't seem to think a c-section will be necessary, but who knows what will happen. I think the unknown part of it is what scares me the most!
So, I have four more days before we check into the hospital. I know I'll be thinking about Madeline while I'm there. It will be hard not to see her and know what's going on. I can't wait until the moment she gets to come to the hospital and meet her baby sister for the first time. That will be SO special, and I can only hope it's an experience she'll be able to remember.
I feel like there should be millions of things I need to do before Sunday, but I don't know what they are. Maybe I should sit down and start working on my to-do list. I'm such a list maker!!
I don't know what should go on my list, I don't know what the next several days will have in store for me, I don't know what to expect. There is really only one thing I do know; she'll be here soon...
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
I'm Back...for now
Is anyone out there still checking this blog? I highly doubt it, and I wouldn't blame you a bit! I've been gone 9 whole months!! WOW! I've been gone from my blog almost as long as I've been pregnant...and that feels like a WHOLE LOTTA TIME!!
Things have changed a bit since I was last blogging. First and foremost, our little family of three will soon (but not soon enough) be a little bigger family of four!! Riley Abagail should make her appearance in a week-ish. If I have my way, she'll be here by this time next week. I'm pretty sure my uncooperative OB won't agree. However, she'll be here soon.
I am SO ready for her to come. Yes, I'm uncomfortable. I can't sleep. My stomach seems to get bigger with each passing day. However, it's so much more than that. I can't wait to see what she will look like. Will she have hair? What color will her eyes be? How will she feel while I'm holding her in my arms.
I know I'm not a first time mom, but I sure feel like one. Madeline will be five soon, and I have forgotten SO much of what the first year or two were all about. She is just so independent these days that I forget she once depended on us for everything! I just keep hoping that taking care of an infant is like riding a bike...not that I've done that for a really long time either!
I hope to be better about blogging in the next few months. I know things will be busy, but this will be a great way to keep everyone updated on our progress. It will be a good way to share pictures of our family as we handle the joys of growing.
So, friend, pardon my absence. I'm back. I'd like to say I'm back for good, but I know myself too well to pressure myself into a long-term blogging commitment. What I can say is that I'm back...for now. :)
Things have changed a bit since I was last blogging. First and foremost, our little family of three will soon (but not soon enough) be a little bigger family of four!! Riley Abagail should make her appearance in a week-ish. If I have my way, she'll be here by this time next week. I'm pretty sure my uncooperative OB won't agree. However, she'll be here soon.
I am SO ready for her to come. Yes, I'm uncomfortable. I can't sleep. My stomach seems to get bigger with each passing day. However, it's so much more than that. I can't wait to see what she will look like. Will she have hair? What color will her eyes be? How will she feel while I'm holding her in my arms.
I know I'm not a first time mom, but I sure feel like one. Madeline will be five soon, and I have forgotten SO much of what the first year or two were all about. She is just so independent these days that I forget she once depended on us for everything! I just keep hoping that taking care of an infant is like riding a bike...not that I've done that for a really long time either!
I hope to be better about blogging in the next few months. I know things will be busy, but this will be a great way to keep everyone updated on our progress. It will be a good way to share pictures of our family as we handle the joys of growing.
So, friend, pardon my absence. I'm back. I'd like to say I'm back for good, but I know myself too well to pressure myself into a long-term blogging commitment. What I can say is that I'm back...for now. :)
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
Happy New Year...Now who wants a RAK?!
It is now officially 2008! It has been for quite some time, but this is the first time I thought to post well wishes to you all!
I hope all of my friends and family have a blessed, happy, and healthy year!!
Here are my 2008 Goals (I refuse to call them resolutions) :)
More...
*smiling
*scrapping
*playing
*exercising
*reading
*laughing
*enjoying
Less...
*complaining
*spending
*tv watching
*worrying
*eating
What about you? What is one thing you'd like to do more of in 2008? How about less? I will send a RAK to a randomly chosen response at the end of January.
I hope all of my friends and family have a blessed, happy, and healthy year!!
Here are my 2008 Goals (I refuse to call them resolutions) :)
More...
*smiling
*scrapping
*playing
*exercising
*reading
*laughing
*enjoying
Less...
*complaining
*spending
*tv watching
*worrying
*eating
What about you? What is one thing you'd like to do more of in 2008? How about less? I will send a RAK to a randomly chosen response at the end of January.
In Mourning...
I have started my day of mourning. I have these at least 3 times a year...the beginning of August, late March, and early January. I'm wearing mostly black to be true to the feelings I have. I am feeling down in the dumps, blue, grouchy.
I start out my day of mourning being in denial. Not long after I enter the anger phase...and this lasts most of the day. Finally, by the time I set the alarm and pull back the covers, I enter resignation. I realize there is nothing I can do to change the situation.
What am I mourning, you may ask? I am mourning the end of my vacation. :) I am pathetic about not wanting school to start back again. I so enjoy being at home, calling my own shots each and every day. I can be lazy, refuse to put on make-up, let my hair be au-natural. Not come tomorrow. Tomorrow I am back to the grind...whether I want to be or not.
Don't get me wrong...I don't dislike my job. I actually like what I do, and I enjoy the people I work with. It's just not nearly as enjoyable as being at home spending time with Jase and Madeline...nothing beats that.
I'll be fine in the morning, I know I will. It will be a struggle to get out of bed...of that I am sure! But, I'll make it. I'll have a fine day catching up with the teachers, leading a few sessions of our inservice, sharing a few laughs. Things will be fine on the outside...but on the inside, I'll be working through my grief...in what stage, I don't yet know. I'll be bright and cheery to others, but inside, I'll still be wearing black. :)
5 Things for Which I'm Thankful Right Now (in no particular order)...
1. Vacation Days
2. Having a job
3. My family and friends
4. Working in a job that I enjoy
5. The fact that no matter how much you are grieving, at some point, it comes to an end. :)
Nichols...OUT!
I start out my day of mourning being in denial. Not long after I enter the anger phase...and this lasts most of the day. Finally, by the time I set the alarm and pull back the covers, I enter resignation. I realize there is nothing I can do to change the situation.
What am I mourning, you may ask? I am mourning the end of my vacation. :) I am pathetic about not wanting school to start back again. I so enjoy being at home, calling my own shots each and every day. I can be lazy, refuse to put on make-up, let my hair be au-natural. Not come tomorrow. Tomorrow I am back to the grind...whether I want to be or not.
Don't get me wrong...I don't dislike my job. I actually like what I do, and I enjoy the people I work with. It's just not nearly as enjoyable as being at home spending time with Jase and Madeline...nothing beats that.
I'll be fine in the morning, I know I will. It will be a struggle to get out of bed...of that I am sure! But, I'll make it. I'll have a fine day catching up with the teachers, leading a few sessions of our inservice, sharing a few laughs. Things will be fine on the outside...but on the inside, I'll be working through my grief...in what stage, I don't yet know. I'll be bright and cheery to others, but inside, I'll still be wearing black. :)
5 Things for Which I'm Thankful Right Now (in no particular order)...
1. Vacation Days
2. Having a job
3. My family and friends
4. Working in a job that I enjoy
5. The fact that no matter how much you are grieving, at some point, it comes to an end. :)
Nichols...OUT!
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Come Out, Come Out, Wherever You Are!
I know, I know...it's been awhile since I've been on here. I'm embarrassed to see it's been more than two months. I knew I hadn't blogged in some time, but I had no idea. You might think I have been on some grand adventure or in the hospital with amnesia...I'm afraid the truth could not be less romantic!! I've been lazy, I guess. I just didn't really think that I had anything interesting to write. I still don't, but I'm back, nonetheless. I guess maybe I've been playing hide and seek. Well, some friends found me. Catherine and Stacey have twisted my arm, gently, and now I'm here typing.
Things have been busy, the holidays always are. Since Christmas, though, I really haven't done a thing. It feels good to be back, good to be filling you all in on the monotony that is my life. I'm trying to think of what great things have consumed me since I last typed...
Teressa, my mom, and I went to New Mexico to see my grandma in November. We had a great time there with her. We hung out at her apartment and played Mississippi Marbles with Grandma and her friends. The ladies were so sweet, and they accepted us like we'd always been there. If you've never played Mississippi Marbles (amazingly not a marble game), you should check it out. It's addicting and doesn't require anything more than 6 dice, paper, and a pencil. Just watch out for those twos...they're trouble!
In late October, I had one of the greatest nights. The town that I graduated from has their fall festival at the end of October. One night I got together with some of my best friends from high school. My best friend, Angie, Wes, Jermaine, Matt, and I had so much fun!! We told old stories and laughed constantly...my stomach hurt by the time I left. I miss those carefree days!!
We celebrated the holidays, of course. At one point, I had so many Christmas products going, it was insane! Teressa, Colleen, and I made a calendar for our mom. I altered a can for my friend's present, made Christmas cards, made a calendar for my mother-in-law, altered seven cans for gifts for people at daycare and school. They all got done in time, and they were a success.
I love Christmas, but I have to admit, I'm glad it's over. There's always so much to do. It's been nice to have time to just be lazy. Not that I wasn't lazy before Christmas, I just was lazy and feeling guilty at the same time. :) I have to admit I'm not really ready to go back to school, but I might as well because I'm not being very productive at home.
Well, I'm sorry friends that I haven't had anything earth shattering, funny, exciting, or even news-worthy to share. It's pretty pathetic, actually, when I think of how little I've done since October 17th. :) Don't worry, though, I won't wait another two-and-a-half months before my next post.
5 Things for Which I'm Thankful Right Now (in no particular order)...
1. Guilt-free laziness
2. Old friends
3. Laughter
4. Post-holiday Peace
5. Gentle arm twistings :)
Nichols...OUT!
Things have been busy, the holidays always are. Since Christmas, though, I really haven't done a thing. It feels good to be back, good to be filling you all in on the monotony that is my life. I'm trying to think of what great things have consumed me since I last typed...
Teressa, my mom, and I went to New Mexico to see my grandma in November. We had a great time there with her. We hung out at her apartment and played Mississippi Marbles with Grandma and her friends. The ladies were so sweet, and they accepted us like we'd always been there. If you've never played Mississippi Marbles (amazingly not a marble game), you should check it out. It's addicting and doesn't require anything more than 6 dice, paper, and a pencil. Just watch out for those twos...they're trouble!
In late October, I had one of the greatest nights. The town that I graduated from has their fall festival at the end of October. One night I got together with some of my best friends from high school. My best friend, Angie, Wes, Jermaine, Matt, and I had so much fun!! We told old stories and laughed constantly...my stomach hurt by the time I left. I miss those carefree days!!
We celebrated the holidays, of course. At one point, I had so many Christmas products going, it was insane! Teressa, Colleen, and I made a calendar for our mom. I altered a can for my friend's present, made Christmas cards, made a calendar for my mother-in-law, altered seven cans for gifts for people at daycare and school. They all got done in time, and they were a success.
I love Christmas, but I have to admit, I'm glad it's over. There's always so much to do. It's been nice to have time to just be lazy. Not that I wasn't lazy before Christmas, I just was lazy and feeling guilty at the same time. :) I have to admit I'm not really ready to go back to school, but I might as well because I'm not being very productive at home.
Well, I'm sorry friends that I haven't had anything earth shattering, funny, exciting, or even news-worthy to share. It's pretty pathetic, actually, when I think of how little I've done since October 17th. :) Don't worry, though, I won't wait another two-and-a-half months before my next post.
5 Things for Which I'm Thankful Right Now (in no particular order)...
1. Guilt-free laziness
2. Old friends
3. Laughter
4. Post-holiday Peace
5. Gentle arm twistings :)
Nichols...OUT!
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
When I Grow Up...
Do you know how hard it is to teach kids to write? Do you remember learning how to write? I don't. I have no memories of my teachers teaching me how to write. I'm a teacher, and I really don't know how to teach kids to write. I mean, I teach them the writing process, we do peer editing, I have some amazing organizers to help them get their thoughts collected and in order. I pull out all the tricks I have to make them better writers. I don't know that what I do helps them, though.
I love to write. I always have. I don't get a huge kick out of writing essays or research papers, but other than that, I love to write. I even love to edit other people's work. There's something satisfying about fixing what someone writes to make it the best it can be. I love blogging. It's writing at it's best. I just write what I'm thinking. I don't have to do a pre-writing organizer, a rough draft, editing, none of that junk. I just let my ideas flow.
Those of you who really know me know that I do not have the best self-esteem. I don't really see myself as having many strengths. However, I think I am a good writer. I like what I write. When I reread things I have written, I'm proud of how it turned out. I've actually had a few people recently tell me that they like my writing. Two girls have told me that after reading my blog. One tells me about once a month. ;) I love to hear that!!
I was asked the other day by a student what I would do if I wasn't a teacher. I would write. I wish I could make money doing it. I would LOVE that!! Can you imagine making money to do something you are SO passionate about? Something that makes you feel good about yourself? I suppose some think teaching should be that for me. It is sometimes, but there are so many demands...so many requirements...so much that rides on everything you do.
Now you know why I've decided when I grow up, I want to be a writer. Aren't I grown up now? Nope. I don't know when I'll grow up. Heck, I may never grow up. But if I do, watch for my name in print. :)
5 Things for which I'm Thankful (in no particular order)...
1. Spell Check
2. My writing teachers (even though I don't remember what you taught me)
3. Feeling good about myself
4. The Gift for Gab
5. Dreams of someday growing up
I love to write. I always have. I don't get a huge kick out of writing essays or research papers, but other than that, I love to write. I even love to edit other people's work. There's something satisfying about fixing what someone writes to make it the best it can be. I love blogging. It's writing at it's best. I just write what I'm thinking. I don't have to do a pre-writing organizer, a rough draft, editing, none of that junk. I just let my ideas flow.
Those of you who really know me know that I do not have the best self-esteem. I don't really see myself as having many strengths. However, I think I am a good writer. I like what I write. When I reread things I have written, I'm proud of how it turned out. I've actually had a few people recently tell me that they like my writing. Two girls have told me that after reading my blog. One tells me about once a month. ;) I love to hear that!!
I was asked the other day by a student what I would do if I wasn't a teacher. I would write. I wish I could make money doing it. I would LOVE that!! Can you imagine making money to do something you are SO passionate about? Something that makes you feel good about yourself? I suppose some think teaching should be that for me. It is sometimes, but there are so many demands...so many requirements...so much that rides on everything you do.
Now you know why I've decided when I grow up, I want to be a writer. Aren't I grown up now? Nope. I don't know when I'll grow up. Heck, I may never grow up. But if I do, watch for my name in print. :)
5 Things for which I'm Thankful (in no particular order)...
1. Spell Check
2. My writing teachers (even though I don't remember what you taught me)
3. Feeling good about myself
4. The Gift for Gab
5. Dreams of someday growing up
Monday, October 8, 2007
I am the Lucky One.
I miss my dad. I have missed him since the day he passed away...some days more than others. It's so strange to me that some days I can't stop thinking about him and other days I might go without thinking of him once. It makes me feel guilty to even type that. You would have laughed if you were watching me hesitate before I even typed that. I thought, "I shouldn't admit to that." "That makes me sound bad." It's true though.
Some days I don't think about my dad once. I'm sure my mom thinks about him everyday. Teressa might think of him everyday too. I don't. Some days when I do think about him, I'm not sad. I might remember something he used to do or say, and it makes me smile. Other days, though, I can't get him out of my mind. I can't stop feeling the pain of missing him. The last week or two have been like that for me. I can't stop thinking about how much I miss him.
My dad was such an amazing person. I know some of you reading this are nodding in agreement. You were lucky like me. You knew him. You loved him. You know how he was the greatest person. He had his faults, of course, but he made people's lives richer. People who really knew him loved him. They couldn't help it. However, some of you reading this don't know him. You never met him. You might not have even known me when he was alive. You missed out. My dad was funny. He was smart. He loved to laugh. He teased people a lot...not in a mean way...when he teased you, you knew it was out of love. My dad spoiled all of us. He was so giving of his time, his affection, his gifts. He was quite a man!
I sometimes still can't believe he's gone. I so wish I could turn back time and change something so he would still be here with us. Didn't he know how much we would miss him? Didn't he know we would sometimes feel lost without him? Didn't he know how much he would miss seeing his grandkids grow up? Why did he ignore the health warning signs? Why didn't he take better care of himself? Why did he do things he knew weren't good for him?
I realize none of that really matters now. What's done is done. I would insert the lyrics of that annoyingly sweet Doris Day song here, but I don't even know how to spell it. I miss my dad. I miss him terribly. I would give anything to have him back. I really would. Today I am thinking about him, and the sadness I feel is strangling me. It really is taking my breath away. I feel the pain in my whole body.
I know your tendency in reading this is to feel sorry for us, those of us missing him. Well, don't. Don't feel sorry for Madeline who will really never know how much her Papa loved her. Don't feel sorry for my mom trying to figure out how to go on without him. Don't feel sorry for our family or my dad's friends. Please don't feel sorry for me. Don't feel sorry that I am consumed with grief today. Instead, feel sorry for the ones whose lives were never touched by him. Feel sorry for the people in our lives that never got to know this amazing man who shaped who we are today. For even though I am choking on the pain of missing him, I got to spend 30 years with my wonderful dad. I have a heart full of memories, a head full of advise, a house full of reminders. Believe it or not, even today when I'm feeling low, I still realize I am the lucky one.
5 Things for which I am thankful right now (in no particular order)...
1. My family and friends
2. Kleenex
3. Knowledge and Clarity
4. 30 years, even if they went too quickly
5. Luck being on my side
Some days I don't think about my dad once. I'm sure my mom thinks about him everyday. Teressa might think of him everyday too. I don't. Some days when I do think about him, I'm not sad. I might remember something he used to do or say, and it makes me smile. Other days, though, I can't get him out of my mind. I can't stop feeling the pain of missing him. The last week or two have been like that for me. I can't stop thinking about how much I miss him.
My dad was such an amazing person. I know some of you reading this are nodding in agreement. You were lucky like me. You knew him. You loved him. You know how he was the greatest person. He had his faults, of course, but he made people's lives richer. People who really knew him loved him. They couldn't help it. However, some of you reading this don't know him. You never met him. You might not have even known me when he was alive. You missed out. My dad was funny. He was smart. He loved to laugh. He teased people a lot...not in a mean way...when he teased you, you knew it was out of love. My dad spoiled all of us. He was so giving of his time, his affection, his gifts. He was quite a man!
I sometimes still can't believe he's gone. I so wish I could turn back time and change something so he would still be here with us. Didn't he know how much we would miss him? Didn't he know we would sometimes feel lost without him? Didn't he know how much he would miss seeing his grandkids grow up? Why did he ignore the health warning signs? Why didn't he take better care of himself? Why did he do things he knew weren't good for him?
I realize none of that really matters now. What's done is done. I would insert the lyrics of that annoyingly sweet Doris Day song here, but I don't even know how to spell it. I miss my dad. I miss him terribly. I would give anything to have him back. I really would. Today I am thinking about him, and the sadness I feel is strangling me. It really is taking my breath away. I feel the pain in my whole body.
I know your tendency in reading this is to feel sorry for us, those of us missing him. Well, don't. Don't feel sorry for Madeline who will really never know how much her Papa loved her. Don't feel sorry for my mom trying to figure out how to go on without him. Don't feel sorry for our family or my dad's friends. Please don't feel sorry for me. Don't feel sorry that I am consumed with grief today. Instead, feel sorry for the ones whose lives were never touched by him. Feel sorry for the people in our lives that never got to know this amazing man who shaped who we are today. For even though I am choking on the pain of missing him, I got to spend 30 years with my wonderful dad. I have a heart full of memories, a head full of advise, a house full of reminders. Believe it or not, even today when I'm feeling low, I still realize I am the lucky one.
5 Things for which I am thankful right now (in no particular order)...
1. My family and friends
2. Kleenex
3. Knowledge and Clarity
4. 30 years, even if they went too quickly
5. Luck being on my side
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
